Grand Plan at the Kingdom by the River (6)

By Peter G. Jimenea, HOLE OF JUSTICE

You may wonder why King Tura of the Kingdom by the River has an account in Facebook.  Don’t be misled. He does not care to open it. The ones maintaining it are the hydrocephalic twins, namely, Hydrocephallus the usurper to the throne of the kingdom information office (KIO) and Boy Bakling.

The two have become inseparable twins after one gave the other new meaning to the word “friend” by supplying him with “cats”, I mean, cats in the figurative sense walking on a pair of legs, not four, if you know what I mean. In other words, one became a “bugaw”, the other, “ginbugawan”.

Befriending King Tura in Facebook will only give these hydrocephallic twins opportunity to pry into your private lives.

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Two subjects of the Kingdom by the River de facto lost their jobs as outcome of Oplan Pagbag-o, a nightmare hatched in the megalomaniac heads of Hydrocephallus, Dok Kagaw, Tibakla, Mamasang, Ellen of Troy and Boy Bakling.

The objective of Oplan Pagbag-o is to execute the “Grand Plan” which aims to pave the way for the entry of Bigboy to the throne of the kingdom. This plot is premised on the scenario that King Tura’s health is deteriorating fast and might disable him before his term ends. Hydrocephallus is at the center wind of the storm that is sweeping away obstacles to the takeover.

Ma’am Malou the kingdom information officer or KIO and her assistant Bikya were simply stricken off the payroll on the lame excuse that they refused to submit their new designations to the personnel department led by Tibakla, the one who has a twisted understanding of marital fidelity.

Dok Kagaw threatened to punish her administratively for “insubordination”. Dok Kagaw forgot that he does not have the power to appoint, punish or remove any subject of the kingdom. Even if he had such power, he cannot use it arbitrarily. He has to follow rules and procedures that allow the person charged administratively to answer and face his or her accusers.

Tibakla and her assistant Gin Butlog backed up Hydrocephallus’s scheme to usurp the KIO throne by deleting the names of Ma’am Malou and Bikya from the payroll.

That is a wise move for the plotters of Oplan Pagbag-o but Ma’am Malou and Bikya are wiser. To concede to the plot would be tantamount to acceding to their scheme of demotion. Ma’am Malou is being coerced to submit a new job rank and job description, from KIO which is in the plantilla and approved by the Civil Service Commission, to Administrative Officer V, a new position which is a demotion. The position of KIO is provided for in the Local Government Code which Hydrocephallus and whoever his backer may be, have to abide with.

Now the kingdom is abuzz with the news that Ma’am Malou and Bikya are filing a complaint to the king against Hydrocephallus et al. They are asking that a “grievance committee” be immediately formed pursuant to CSC rules and regulation to investigate and address the gripes of the complainants who charge their tormentors for oppression, abuse of authority, dishonesty and usurpation.

They also question the qualification of Hydrocephallus and the legality of the Kawpid which was not created by any law or ordinance but by a mere office order.

Hydrocephallus does not have the experience and academic credentials to qualify for the position but he still has the gall to expand his clout by annexing smaller offices, projects and their personnel under his wings. After grabbing Kawkaw, KIO and Radyo Unit and illegally formed it into “Kawpid” and getting full control of their combined budgets of P9.7 million, he now eyes to snatch the disaster management with P60 million, the school board with P100 million, the function of the GSO of publishing public notices, and the division of the planning office that keeps tab of the economic and business profile of the kingdom. 


He even attempted to transfer the P10 million intelligence fund from the office of King Tura only that, he later retreated after sensing that oppositionist Board Jerri, himself a former spookie of the Philippine Constabulary, would grill him until he burned.

He never learns from his own self-caused debacles. He lost a promising job as correspondent for a national daily because of sheer laziness to gather news. He contented himself copying news of colleagues verbatim. He is now haunted by the word “plagiarism” wherever he goes.

He should have mended his ways. He had lost a high paying job from the project funded by the Canadian Urban Institute (CUI). The Guam(aras) based NGO fired him after its staff unanimously signed a petition against him for his highhandedness which he is replicating today at the Kingdom by the River.